


I Miss You

by zemole



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 11:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17724305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zemole/pseuds/zemole
Summary: Late at night and Bert thinks about Gerard and their past relationship.





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this years ago and found it in my drafts, I barely remember anything about MCR or The Used soooo

He'd never left his heart, even as he laid in bed with his wife after putting their daughter to sleep, his heart still ached for him. How he would give his current life to be back where they once were. Arms wrapped around the elder man, big grins on their faces as the stumbled shitfaced on stage, or resting together on a couch going over Q&As for a music show. That had all been a past that seemed like it was centuries ago.

Gerard had been a quick memory that had rocked his world and left him crumbling. 

He had been a tornado who had shook him up, and left. The night he'd packed his bags, telling Bert that he wasn't coming back was always fresh on his mind as he laid in bed trying to fall asleep. Over a decade and he still went over different scenarios in which he could have made him stay. 

Had he gotten clean would Gerard have wanted him again? 

They both had their own lives now, Gerard was married and left My Chemical Romance behind him. Their lives were so different. 

Bert loved his band, and couldn't imagine a life without it. 

It had been the only thing keeping him together after Kate died. Then there was Gerard, who had picked up all the pieces of his heart, glueing them back together. Bert wished their relationship hadn't involved countless drugs and endless alcohol. Things could have been so different.

He thought of what life could have been like between them. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he did envision life married to the former rock star. He would trade Alison any day for Gerard. For things to be like they once were.

Waking up in bed with him. Their hair messy, smudged makeup covered faces and sore bodies. How he wanted that more than anything.

That life was so far from him, and he would never get it back, no matter how much he wished.

He hadn't seen Gerard in ages, let alone spoke to him.

He still was in contact with the rest of My Chemical Romance, and he may have snagged Gerard's new digits off Frank’s phone the last time he saw the man. 

Sometimes he wanted to text him, tell him he was sorry for everything, but he wasn't.

Bert didn't hold a gun to Gerard's head during their drug induced romance. He hadn't forced him to do any of it. Gerard had made him out to be the bad guy, hated by so many of his fans, because he was portrayed as the guy who enabled his addiction.  
Bert wanted to know did Gerard ever think of him? Did he lay in bed at night, like he did? Did he lose sleep over this?

No, he didn't think the other man did. He never seemed to care. Not when Bert needed him most. He'd left him. 

Even when Bert had got clean Gerard didn't care. There was no congratulations, or trying to rekindle their old friendship, there was no Gerard. Only the ghost of a failed relationship.

Bert looked over at Alison to see her asleep, turned facing away from him. She had the covers pulled over her body, and was slightly snoring. He knew she was in a deep sleep and wouldn't wake, so he reached over grabbing his phone off the bedside table and turning it on. He scrolled through his contracts until he found the one labeled Gerard. He clicked on it and pulled up the messenger, feeling his hands go slick from sweat and his stomach turning in knots. Could he really do this? Did he really want to?

‘Hey was think’n bout u miss u –Bert’ 

He felt lame sending that, but he pushed the button before he could allow himself to back out. He didn't even know if Gerard still used that number, half of him hoped he didn't. At least then, he would be saved from the embarrassment of desperately texting your ex ten years later.

He tossed his phone back on the table and laid back down, resting his head on the pillow and closing his eyes. He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of Gerard on his mind. His dreams were filled with memories, back from when times were simple. When they had shared the stage together, back before they had blown up into the rockstars they were.


End file.
